It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that an epically proportioned, terrifying, apocalyptic, world-ending catastrophe is about to occur. Forget about water scarcity and global warming; did you know that there are an estimated 389 billion dead people on the planet Earth?! Do you have any idea what that means?!
Obviously, it implies that the dead outnumber the living by about 55 to 1, and with those kind of odds, and with the oblivious nutjobs we have running our national defense initiatives (who haven’t answered a single one of my letters), we pretty much don’t stand a chance in hell of coming out on top in the impending zombie apocalypse. So if you have even half a brain in your head, then you’ll know like I do that the shit is about to hit the fan on Dec. 21st, just like the Mayans predicted in their fancy calendar, which just so happens to be the most accurate one ever created.